To Die For

To Die For

My oldest son, Trey, was on the way to a career in pro baseball. Then in one game, with one snap, that career was gone.

I walked with him through disappointment, surgeries, tears, all the while stuffing my own ragged emotions. (You know how we hate to see our children hurt.) Two years after the event, I was still full of such regret for how life had turned out for Trey that I had to do something. I decided to write God a letter.

If I Were God

I told Him I was angry. I told Him how unfair He was. I told Him I didn’t like His plan. And then I said this:

“God, if I had been You, I would have thought long and hard before taking away Trey’s chances at baseball. If I were You, I would have honored the little boy who wore a scripture verse on his cap, who worked tirelessly yet gave You all the credit, who was noted for carrying the cross in his pocket. If I were You, God I would have…”

You get the idea. Then God said to me, “I hear you, Kim. But if you had been me, would you have given your son to a hurting and dying world…because that is what I did.”

Love Breaks Through

You’d think, after the way I had blasted God, that He would blast back. Here I was accusing Him of not being the perfect kind of God I expected Him to be. Imagine what He could have said about my imperfections! Instead, He reminded me of how much He loved me, and Trey, and you. He reminded me that though we are not perfect—and though we sometimes accuse Him of terrible things—He still thinks we are to die for.

God gave His only Son over to a horrible death to redeem what was lost. And God still breaks through our losses today because of what His Son did on that cross. Just as Jesus walked out of the tomb, we can walk out of our prison of pain, knowing that, having died for us, Christ now walks beside us, ready to redeem every loss, heal every hurt, restore what is broken.

Sight Restored

What is in your heart today? Are you disappointed in how your life has turned out? Are you questioning how God could really love you when He lets such painful things happen to you?

Take hope in this great truth. God redeems everything. Let it comfort you despite the losses you may be carrying. He whispers into your darkness what He whispered into mine: I love you. I am here. I see you.

Yes, as dark as our worlds can get, God can still see us. And He will give us just enough light to be able to see Him too. As we draw toward that light—tiny though it may be—we begin to see His love more and more clearly. Hope returns.

Another Letter

Let’s be people who are always looking for the light of God in every situation. And let’s go one step further. Imagine if each of us whose darkness has become light could shine a small beam into someone else’s darkness. With the message of the cross, we could open their eyes to the great truth that, to God, they are worth dying for.

Instead of following my example and writing an angry letter to God, consider writing a different kind of letter: a letter to a friend who doesn’t know the extent of God’s love. Tell them about a cruel cross and how God turned it into the ultimate symbol of hope and redemption.

About the Author

Kim Crabill is the founder and president of Roses and Rainbows Ministries, Inc., and Community COFFEEs. She has traveled nationally for more than 20 years, speaking at retreats, conferences, and Bible study groups with her life message from her book Burdens to Blessings. For more information about Kim, her ministries, and her books, visit

Web Design by Accent Interactive